there is nothing I have ever wanted more in my entire life than to be thin, just to feel comfortable in my own damn skin. not to look at other people who are smaller than me and feel so huge (even if i wasn’t). to stop comparing myself to others every second of every day. to feel comfortable around other people. to stop feeling like i’m judged constantly for how i look, to stop feeling like everyone around me thinks i’m fat. to stop judging myself constantly for how i look. 

because even at my thinnest

i have always felt this way.


it means no memories, for the rest of the night. (via erkings)

(Source: xxxl0veleenxxx, via arrid)

let me tell you a thing (some things, really) :)

Number one: You are so incredibly gorgeous and nowhere near being fat. Even if your boyfriend really thought that he would have to be totally insane. (although if HE hasn’t told you that I wouldn’t trust it coming from his roommate’s mouth, his roommate sounds like a douche).

Number two: Sometimes people just can’t change, especially if they don’t really see the point. I actually just got out of a two year relationship where our lack of communication was pretty much what did us in, and I can tell you that from day one I kept telling him it was an issue for me when he didn’t even respond to my saying goodnight to him and I tried not making a big deal about it but we also didn’t see each other but one-two times a week for the whole time we were together… and he never made an effort to change his habits. If it is something that IS going to bother you and you have told him again and again and he promises he won’t do it but he keeps doing it anyway… what are you really gaining from the situation?

I won’t tell you to break up with him, the only person who can make that decision is you… but if you have any doubts at all that he’s just not that into you, you need to have a good old fashioned sit down with him and really hash things out so that you can both be certain about the relationship.

How long have you guys been together, if I may ask (not that it really matters, I’m just curious).

I read a really good article the other day though that helped me decide to finally end things after two years, and here’s the part that really stood out to me and it does again after reading your post:

“I know he/she really loves me.”

I point out that judging whether someone loves you should be based on how that person behaves, and not on what he/she says. But still, there are real reasons to believe that this other person loves, or did love in the past. But in the end, love is not enough.

The second major reason someone stays in a relationship too long is the prospect of once again being alone, having to date all over again, having to smile without feeling like smiling, having to accommodate oneself to one more person. And having to do that over and over again. It seems easier to stay with someone you know, rather than be alone. And there is the thought that there is really no one out there at all.

Of course, the alternative is not being alone, except temporarily. The alternatives are whether someone will be happier staying with this particular person with all his/her failings, or with the person who will inevitably come along sometime in the future. But even if my patient has gone through a number of such separations in the past and has survived them well enough, this time it seems to be too painful. The future seems too uncertain.” (ugh can’t get the insert link to work)

I think you just have some thinking to do, and some talking. He may really be totally oblivious to what he’s doing (at least one could hope he wasn’t doing it on purpose)… but that doesn’t make it okay. If there’s something unsatisfactory about the relationship, it needs to be changed before either or both of you start feeling resentment towards each other.

Hope this was a little helpful. :)


i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice 

(via misericordia-sempiterna)